So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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