My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
