jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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