you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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