Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
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Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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