What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
