i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
