His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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