i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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