What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
