The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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