My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
