think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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