im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
