Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
