I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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