I'm going to jail i love you
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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