Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Let's get the cat blown out
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
