Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
