butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
