Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
