No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
