My room smells like vodka and shame
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
