So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
