I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
