Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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