My room smells like vodka and shame
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
