Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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