I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize