I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
