K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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