Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
