and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
