Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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