Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
