You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i need an iv and a liver transplant
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
