sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
