She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
accomplished twins. life is a go
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
