You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
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I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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