talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You are a genius and a whore.
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