i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
