Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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