Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving