Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I had better be fucking involved with step four.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez. (1-614): I had better be fucking involved with step four. http://tfl.nu/poz4
  Replies (46) Good night (5430) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works? http://tfl.nu/8nc6
  Replies (26) Good night (1156) Bad night (5637)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad. http://tfl.nu/ovcp
  Replies (48) Good night (5278) Bad night (1761)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell. http://tfl.nu/ey83
  Replies (24) Good night (3546) Bad night (2739)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama. http://tfl.nu/24qa
  Replies (52) Good night (4740) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex. http://tfl.nu/7jw4
  Replies (6) Good night (3913) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back. http://tfl.nu/936t
  Replies (14) Good night (1360) Bad night (2447)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is. http://tfl.nu/at5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1818) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head. http://tfl.nu/1t8h
  Replies (8) Good night (2425) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows. http://tfl.nu/qes9
  Replies (4) Good night (1604) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me. http://tfl.nu/noof
  Replies (10) Good night (644) Bad night (1637)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She needs sedatives and a leash

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): She needs sedatives and a leash http://tfl.nu/ovk2
  Replies (7) Good night (749) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on http://tfl.nu/r00x
  Replies (2) Good night (1123) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful! http://tfl.nu/h1ft
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up? http://tfl.nu/bx4r
  Replies (3) Good night (658) Bad night (352)

Randomize