is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?