Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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  (480): p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life http://tfl.nu/eu21
  Replies (24) Good night (5062) Bad night (816)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

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  (609): So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated... http://tfl.nu/17ul
  Replies (22) Good night (752) Bad night (5587)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.

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  (203): he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs. http://tfl.nu/0b7z
  Replies (18) Good night (5471) Bad night (1372)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  should my penis look like a turkey

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  (319): should my penis look like a turkey http://tfl.nu/u56w
  Replies (18) Good night (982) Bad night (5420)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night

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  (409): Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night http://tfl.nu/3ybg
  Replies (2) Good night (2382) Bad night (965)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.

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  (336): You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/fpao
  Replies (4) Good night (1859) Bad night (886)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.

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  (204): when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape. http://tfl.nu/srkz
  Replies (2) Good night (2200) Bad night (647)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.

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  (850): It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order. http://tfl.nu/7w8i
  Replies (4) Good night (2236) Bad night (658)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.

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  (570): Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear. http://tfl.nu/m0op
  Replies (14) Good night (2067) Bad night (592)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.

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  (330): The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/09ej
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (402)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'

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  (443): SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK' http://tfl.nu/77su
  Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (375)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.

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  (218): In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first. http://tfl.nu/gyje
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (358)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?

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  (613): is it acceptable to cross the border for sex? http://tfl.nu/mouc
  Replies (2) Good night (473) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....

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  (586): ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup.... http://tfl.nu/iec2
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (207)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls

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  (713): He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls http://tfl.nu/kpep
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (212)

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