just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
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we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
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where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.