The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
