Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet

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  (850): Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet http://tfl.nu/7t8x
  Replies (9) Good night (653) Bad night (1934)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting

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  (305): best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting http://tfl.nu/0qs3
  Replies (9) Good night (2109) Bad night (544)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?

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  (281): So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls? http://tfl.nu/vzcb
  Replies (133) Good night (1079) Bad night (6235)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.

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  (250): found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life. http://tfl.nu/4h73
  Replies (22) Good night (647) Bad night (3049)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

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  (804): I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock." http://tfl.nu/9z32
  Replies (20) Good night (4504) Bad night (700)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.

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  (724): i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall. http://tfl.nu/3lmu
  Replies (12) Good night (7075) Bad night (865)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.

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  (585): I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet. http://tfl.nu/fy09
  Replies (16) Good night (6420) Bad night (1216)
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  (+34): View more from Spain

  what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30

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  (+34): what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30 http://tfl.nu/zswr
  Replies (7) Good night (819) Bad night (4036)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk

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  (480): im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk http://tfl.nu/jram
  Replies (6) Good night (5143) Bad night (734)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?

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  (920): Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations? http://tfl.nu/lkp9
  Replies (8) Good night (1406) Bad night (435)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.

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  (336): Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army. http://tfl.nu/tv7a
  Replies (11) Good night (947) Bad night (825)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.

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  (419): She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared. http://tfl.nu/zba1
  Replies (9) Good night (2690) Bad night (665)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.

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  (815): Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down. http://tfl.nu/94ky
  Replies (5) Good night (778) Bad night (325)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.

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  (316): I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny. http://tfl.nu/2qsg
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (234)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex

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  (+44): Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex http://tfl.nu/fkis
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (252)

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