I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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