and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize