do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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