My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
