**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
