You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
