ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I smell stomach acid.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
