Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
