her vagine was all disorganized.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
