So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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