Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
