i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
