that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
