So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
