You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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