Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
