awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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