i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
