And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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