if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
