drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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